It has been three weeks.
Three weeks.
Three weeks since the
abduction of 276 schoolgirls.
276 girls at school.
Forgive me if my words
repeat, if I over explain, if I enunciate these bare bones facts as though I am
speaking to people slow of thought and mind and manner.
It’s just that it has
been three weeks since 276 schoolgirls were abducted
And I am speaking to
myself –
For my thoughts have not
drifted to these girls often enough,
My prayers have not been
those of a heartbroken mother who does not know where her child is,
My passion has not been
that of a fathers desperation to bring his family together once more,
My fervour has not been
that of the communities torn apart by the taking of these precious young women.
Rather, I have watched
it unfold, emotionally muted, hurried along by my own concerns and all of the ‘important’
things that I have to preoccupy my time with.
1 Deborah Abge
2. Awa Abge
3. Hauwa Yirma
4. Asabe Manu
5. Mwa Malam pogu
2. Awa Abge
3. Hauwa Yirma
4. Asabe Manu
5. Mwa Malam pogu
Why is that?
Why have I not cared
enough to write, to wail, to rend my garments, to rail against a world that is
in such brokenness that something like this can even occur?
6. Patiant Dzakwa
7. Saraya Mal. Stover
8. Mary Dauda
9. Gloria Mainta
10.Hanatu Ishaku
7. Saraya Mal. Stover
8. Mary Dauda
9. Gloria Mainta
10.Hanatu Ishaku
‘Boko Haram’
They were taken by Boko
Haram.
Their name is a Hausa
phrase.
It means ‘western
education is sinful’…
11. Gloria Dama
12. Tabitha Pogu
13. Maifa Dama
14. Ruth kollo
15. Esther Usman
12. Tabitha Pogu
13. Maifa Dama
14. Ruth kollo
15. Esther Usman
Right now, my western
education feels sinful.
It has inoculated me
against the needs of others.
It has made my world so
small that only those things deemed important by the words of the media, which
I so rapidly and rabidly consume, are on my radar.
16 Awa James
17 Anthonia Yahonna
18 Kume Mutah
19 Aisha Ezekial
20 Nguba Buba
17 Anthonia Yahonna
18 Kume Mutah
19 Aisha Ezekial
20 Nguba Buba
I am told that I am the
centre of my universe,
And so I am conditioned
and moulded,
Informed and inspired,
By issues that are
chosen for me.
The crashing of an
airliner, which draws people to their twitter feeds with hashtags and cries,
Because, ‘the next time
I get on a plane that could be me’.
21 Kwanta Simon.
22 Kummai Aboku.
23 Esther Markus
24 Hana Stephen.
25. Rifkatu Amos
22 Kummai Aboku.
23 Esther Markus
24 Hana Stephen.
25. Rifkatu Amos
The adoption by celebrities
of the cause of a young boy dying from cancer,
Too young by far,
And very much inspiring,
Raising three million
pounds in mere days.
Because cancer robs us.
26 Rebecca Mallum
27.Blessing Abana.
28. Ladi Wadai
29. Tabitha Hyelampa.
30 Ruth Ngladar .
27.Blessing Abana.
28. Ladi Wadai
29. Tabitha Hyelampa.
30 Ruth Ngladar .
A media mogul arrested
for heinous acts against vulnerable women.
Because, justice has
been served against those who think that they are above it.
31 Safiya Abdu .
32 Na’omi Yahonna.
33 Solomi Titus .
34 Rhoda John
35 Rebecca Kabu
32 Na’omi Yahonna.
33 Solomi Titus .
34 Rhoda John
35 Rebecca Kabu
A former IRA leader is
being questioned over awful historic acts of terror.
And the whispers of ‘no
more, please, no more,' are heard amongst communities that are hungering for the
moving forward of all things.
Because, no-one wants to
go back there again.
36. Christy Yahi.
37. Rebecca Luka.
38. Laraba John
39 Saratu Markus.
40. Mary Usman.
37. Rebecca Luka.
38. Laraba John
39 Saratu Markus.
40. Mary Usman.
And our minds are filled
with these things.
These ARE important
things.
These ARE things that
matter.
But they are not the
only important things.
They are not the only
things that matter.
41 Debora Yahonna.
42.Naomi Zakaria
43 Hanatu Musa
44. Hauwa Tella
45.Juliana Yakubu.
42.Naomi Zakaria
43 Hanatu Musa
44. Hauwa Tella
45.Juliana Yakubu.
And then, the most
shared story on the BBC news webpage today is that 5000 people have turned up
for ‘knob throwing’.
In Dorset.
A knob is a biscuit.
That is the most shared
story.
People throwing
biscuits.
But it’s funny, because
it’s called a ‘knob’.
And 5000 people turned
up.
46. Suzana Yakubu
47. Saraya Paul.
48. Jummai Paul
49. Mary Sule
50. Jummai John.
47. Saraya Paul.
48. Jummai Paul
49. Mary Sule
50. Jummai John.
Maybe it’s because the
media chooses what is important?
Maybe it’s because our
minds can’t go there.
To that place where 276
school girls are abducted because a group of men deem that ‘western education
is sinful’.
Oh, Malala Yousafzai,
your heart must break.
51.Yanke Shittima.
52. Muli Waligam .
53. Fatima Tabji.
54. Eli Joseph.
55.Saratu Emmanuel.
52. Muli Waligam .
53. Fatima Tabji.
54. Eli Joseph.
55.Saratu Emmanuel.
School should be a safe
place.
School should be a place
where minds are unleashed, where potential is released, where a world in which
276 girls are abducted is broken into pieces and put back together again with
hope and love and compassion at its centre.
56. Deborah Peter.
57.Rahila Bitrus.
58. Luggwa Sanda.
59. Kauna Lalai.
60. Lydia Emmar.
57.Rahila Bitrus.
58. Luggwa Sanda.
59. Kauna Lalai.
60. Lydia Emmar.
But, Nigeria is far
away.
I don’t mean
geographically.
It is only 4205 miles
from London to Lagos.
61.Laraba Maman.
62.Hauwa Isuwa.
63. Confort Habila.
64. Hauwa Abdu.
65. Hauwa Balti.
62.Hauwa Isuwa.
63. Confort Habila.
64. Hauwa Abdu.
65. Hauwa Balti.
It is 11389
miles from London to Auckland, New Zealand
And even that is the shortest calculable distance between my location and the
place that my heart travels to so readily.
Yet the 4205 miles that lie between my desk and Nigeria feel like an
insurmountable void.
66. Yana Joshua.
67. Laraba Paul.
68. Saraya Amos.
69. Glory Yaga.
70. Na’omi Bitrus.
67. Laraba Paul.
68. Saraya Amos.
69. Glory Yaga.
70. Na’omi Bitrus.
It is a moot question, but
one that nonetheless haunts…
‘Would the world care
more if these were white girls from a ‘developed’ nation?’
71. Godiya Bitrus.
72. Awa Bitrus.
73. Na’omi Luka.
74. Maryamu Lawan.
75. Tabitha Silas.
72. Awa Bitrus.
73. Na’omi Luka.
74. Maryamu Lawan.
75. Tabitha Silas.
Of course it would.
Of course we would.
76. Mary Yahona.
77. Ladi Joel.
78. Rejoice Sanki.
79. Luggwa Samuel.
80. Comfort Amos.
77. Ladi Joel.
78. Rejoice Sanki.
79. Luggwa Samuel.
80. Comfort Amos.
No-one wants to say it.
No-one wants to own it.
No-one wants to be like
that.
No-one wants to admit to
that.
81. Saraya Samuel.
82. Sicker Abdul.
83.Talata Daniel.
84. Rejoice Musa.
85. Deborah Abari.
82. Sicker Abdul.
83.Talata Daniel.
84. Rejoice Musa.
85. Deborah Abari.
But it remains
nonetheless.
That thought, that
truth.
That we just don’t care
enough.
86. Salomi Pogu.
87. Mary Amor.
88. Ruth Joshua.
89. Esther John.
90. Esther Ayuba.
87. Mary Amor.
88. Ruth Joshua.
89. Esther John.
90. Esther Ayuba.
I WANT to disagree.
I want to be able to
shout from the rooftops, even if I am the only one that hears my voice, that I
am doing all that I can do to help in whatever ways I can to secure the release
of those precious, precious girls.
91. Maryamu Yakubu.
91. Zara Ishaku.
93. Maryamu Wavi
94. Lydia Habila.
95. Laraba Yahonna.
91. Zara Ishaku.
93. Maryamu Wavi
94. Lydia Habila.
95. Laraba Yahonna.
But I can’t.
Because my heart is only
just beginning to absorb the truth.
The girls are only now
finding their way into my well shielded centre.
96. Na’omi Bitrus.
97.Rahila Yahanna.
98. Ruth Lawan.
99. Ladi Paul.
100. Mary Paul.
97.Rahila Yahanna.
98. Ruth Lawan.
99. Ladi Paul.
100. Mary Paul.
And why?
Because I now know their
names.
180 of their names at
least.
I don't know why it took me so long to think that knowing their names was important.
101. Esther Joshua.
102. Helen Musa.
103. Margret Watsai.
104. Deborah Jafaru.
105. Filo Dauda.
102. Helen Musa.
103. Margret Watsai.
104. Deborah Jafaru.
105. Filo Dauda.
As I sit and read them,
as I stop and remember
them,
as I light a candle,
as I whisper their given
monikers,
they are real.
106. Febi Haruna.
107.Ruth Ishaku.
108.Racheal Nkeki.
109. Rifkatu Soloman.
110.Mairama yahaya.
107.Ruth Ishaku.
108.Racheal Nkeki.
109. Rifkatu Soloman.
110.Mairama yahaya.
And my inaction gives
way to holy rage.
Rage that this situation had
even a possibility of coming to pass.
111.Saratu Dauda.
112.Jinkai Yama.
113.Margret Shettima.
114.Yana yidau.
115. Grace Paul.
112.Jinkai Yama.
113.Margret Shettima.
114.Yana yidau.
115. Grace Paul.
Rage that some of these
girls are being married off for the price of $12.
Rage that these men are
stealing the innocence of those who merely want to learn.
Rage at the thought of
what might have been endured by these infinitely valuable, beautiful girls.
116. Amina Ali.
117. Palmata Musa
118. Awagana Musa
119. Pindar Nuhu
120. Yana Pogu.
117. Palmata Musa
118. Awagana Musa
119. Pindar Nuhu
120. Yana Pogu.
Rage that tonight these
girls might once more live in fear of what will happen next, instead of being
safe in their community.
Rage that it has taken
me this long to care.
Rage about what that
says to me about my life and my priorities.
121. Saraya Musa
122. Hauwa Joseph.
123. Hauwa kwakwi.
122. Hauwa Joseph.
123. Hauwa kwakwi.
124. Name missing from list
125. Hauwa Musa.
125. Hauwa Musa.
Rage that, even in my
rage, I know not what to do.
I am impotent in the
face of such horrors.
126. Maryamu Musa.
127. Maimuna Usman.
128. Rebeca Joseph.
129.Liyatu Habitu.
130. Rifkatu Yakubu.
127. Maimuna Usman.
128. Rebeca Joseph.
129.Liyatu Habitu.
130. Rifkatu Yakubu.
I reel in the wake of my
white, western privilege.
I wrestle with even
these awakening feelings as they bear the hallmarks of a saviour complex,
Emerging from one who is
free to sit on this, a national holiday, and pour streams of words out on to
the page,
without being able to do
a single effective thing to secure a release.
131. Naomi Philimon.
132.Deborah Abbas.
133. Ladi Ibrahim.
134. Asabe Ali
135. Maryamu Bulama.
132.Deborah Abbas.
133. Ladi Ibrahim.
134. Asabe Ali
135. Maryamu Bulama.
I do not know what to
do.
136.Ruth Amos.
137.Mary Ali
138. Abigail Bukar
139 Deborah Amos
140. Saraya Yanga
137.Mary Ali
138. Abigail Bukar
139 Deborah Amos
140. Saraya Yanga
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
141. Kauna Luka
142. Christiana Bitrus
143.Yana Bukar
144. Hauwa peter
145.Hadiza Yakubu.
142. Christiana Bitrus
143.Yana Bukar
144. Hauwa peter
145.Hadiza Yakubu.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
146. Lydia Simon
147. Ruth Bitrus .
148. Mary Yakubu
149. Lugwa Mutah.
150 Muwa Daniel.
147. Ruth Bitrus .
148. Mary Yakubu
149. Lugwa Mutah.
150 Muwa Daniel.
And so, I will write.
I will pen these stream
of consciousness words
I will parse my thoughts
and my feelings.
151 Hanatu Nuhu
152. Monica Enoch.
153. Margret Yama.
154.Docas yakubu.
155. Rhoda peter
152. Monica Enoch.
153. Margret Yama.
154.Docas yakubu.
155. Rhoda peter
I will put out into the
universe the truth that these girls are no longer nameless to me.
156. Rifkatu Galang
157. Saratu Ayuba.
158. Naomi Adamu.
159. Hauwa Ishaya
160. Rahap Ibrahim
157. Saratu Ayuba.
158. Naomi Adamu.
159. Hauwa Ishaya
160. Rahap Ibrahim
I will embrace the
stench ridden reality that there is little that I can do,
That even these actions
of pen to paper and fingers to keyboard speak of my privilege and arrogance and
inaction.
161. Name missing from list
162. Deborah Soloman.
163Hauwa Mutah
164. Hauwa Takai.
165. Serah Samuel.
163Hauwa Mutah
164. Hauwa Takai.
165. Serah Samuel.
But these girls are no
longer anonymous to me
And I will cry their
names into the wind
I will scream the words
as though a parent seeking a lost child.
166. Aishatu Musa.
167. Aishatu Grema.
168. Hauwa Nkeki
169. Hamsatu Abubakar
170. Mairama Abubakar.
167. Aishatu Grema.
168. Hauwa Nkeki
169. Hamsatu Abubakar
170. Mairama Abubakar.
When I can lobby I will
lobby,
When I can awareness
raise, I will awareness raise,
Should a plan come to
light that I, with all my skill-less passion, can impact - I will join.
171 Hauwa Wule
172. Ihyi Abdu
173. Hasana Adamu.
174. Rakiya Kwamtah
175 Halima Gamba.
172. Ihyi Abdu
173. Hasana Adamu.
174. Rakiya Kwamtah
175 Halima Gamba.
I will post and I will
rage and I will pray in a dervish of passion and intensity.
176. Aisha Lawan .
177. Kabu Malla
178. Yayi Abana.
179. Falta Lawan.
180. Kwadugu Manu.
177. Kabu Malla
178. Yayi Abana.
179. Falta Lawan.
180. Kwadugu Manu.
I so desperately want to
rescue them.
But, in this moment, all
I have are their names.